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Jul. 13th, 2009 @ 04:41 pm B.t.W.
 Pluuuus. There was a night I walked over one of those REALLY tall bridges with Angie and we made it to Shane's house. He lived with his room mate. We smoked a gold mini bowl and used up all the pot in it so that there was no trace of it. Then he said I could keep the bowl. So I cupped it in my hand. Then we left and I woke up. It was crazy. He had a room mate.  I don't even think he smokes.  I just remember blue carpet in his room and a closet that was open.  A dining room table.  
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Jul. 13th, 2009 @ 04:30 pm Post Secret 101 = I enjoy how my body odor smells. how lady like ;- )
Current Mood: bouncy
Tags: ,
 So in my dreams I have now re enrolled in high school.  Since apparently I never went before.  Plus I'm working at a vet clinic.  With some old guy that tried to make out with me.  It was our purpose. We weren't related and that was the way all the new girls get into this clinic.  Anyways.  There was a baby Rottweiler that quickly sold.  An older one that was one of those pets that just always chill in the pet store/vet? Half the place is actually a sit down restaurant.  The animals all stay in cages around the two walls to the right whn you first walk in.  Then there is a place you have to earn your keep to work in.  BIG RESPONIBILITY.  My first day I had to watch a puppy chiuaha.  It was as small as my hand.  Of course Zoe and Jamie showed up and I was ordered to get the enourmous box of ramen noodles from Jamie's trunk and bring it in. So I had to hand the puppy off to some one else.  An older women who was very pretty and slightly resembled my old cheer coach.  Then I woke up while carrying the box of ramen noodles through the sunny parking lot.  

This is strange because I was wondering why it is NEVER sunny in my dreams.  

I've been keeping a paper journal of my dreams because they are psychotic.  I think I should just make one online because it's easier to type then write? 

Any how the ketch up would be:  My former co-worker sliced me up with a knife on a pool table. Yeah I woke thinking I was really bleeding.  

Then previous to the trippy vet place I had made ammends with my ex-bfs ex-gf by kissing her.  She looked flawless btw.  Some time during the same night there was a party on a front lawn. Bon fire and chairs.  This chik randy was there and we were discussing our secret list of classes.   Hiding it from the younger kids. 

Whoa Whoa.  -_- 
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Jul. 9th, 2009 @ 05:29 pm Michael Jackson named his kid cool names.
Tags: ,
 Individually we all end.  

Together we live on for ever.  

The Earth.  

Ideas. Artwork. Discoveries.  Lessons. 

I had a dream of some one who has recently passed away.  This is the second time it's happened.  Both times they were how I remembered them. I suppose I should look up what this means. 


Favor for a friend.  I had an opportunity to give into temptation but I refused and now I was offered a job.  This makes me believe that maybe I'm not such a failure that for once I did the right thing! Small step, yes but a step none the less. :- D 

My dreams have been intense since my wisdom surgery.  Maybe the holes in my mouth lead to my brain especially the part used to dream.  How much is the future? How much is imagination at play?  Or some thing I can not comprehend.  It's literally like I have two lives.  My normal sit at home exercise, eat, watch tv, shower days and then at night my boyfriend who I take to meet my family in Georgia.  My pot head friends that I get blown with.  My job which is to ward off zombies.  It's amazing! My bff who I hold hands with.  

Although last night in my sleep I told my mom I was a vampire and that's why I was huddled in the corner shaking when we were waiting for the power to come back on in the basement with the rest of the family. She then said she understood and that she was a vampire too and let me bite her.  (Totally makes non sense because vampires don't bite each other. Plus i'd never bite my mom. Duh.)  It was intense though. Then I woke up.  
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Jul. 6th, 2009 @ 05:52 pm my life. blah and blah.
Tags: , ,
 I think people should be rewarded for their actions.   

I walked EVERY WHERE last year.  So I should get a car for free. 


If you have sex with 50 people in ten months you should expect a kid. 

If you lie all the time you should expect false emotions in return.  

If you give hugs you should get kisses.  


I FINALLY found a new blogging site.  I love live journal but I lost all my friends on it.  Which depresses me. 

It's not the site I dreamt about but it should be fun.  I will juggle this site still.  I'm able. I'm ready to write again. Ready to attempt to politically rebellious.  Ready to complain about flaunting the murder of a murderer.  That's where i'm not sure the punishment should match the crime. I wrote a paper on it once A Life For A Life?.  It dealt with capital punishment.  I think there is some thing wrong with some one if they are able to kill people but won't take the gun and point at their own face or take the knife and slit their wrists.  I can't imagine some one living after that.  

Anyways I finished A New Moon.  My mom suggested I take a break from the twilight series so I'm reading AT First Sight which is a Nicholas Sparks novel. So far so good. I'm  going to try to finish it in a week.  For one to see if I can. For two so I can get on with the third Twilight book (Eclipse) and for three to increase my reading skills.  It's be amazing to eventually read all the Nicholas Sparks novels I can.  I've read two. Started two other ones and now this one.  The only author I've read every book (except one that I know of) is Ellen Wittlinger.  :-D IT's an accomplishment for sure! 

Other than that I've increased my work out routine.  I read in a magazine the biggest muscle in your body is the gluteus maxemis (spell check doesn't work :-/)  Also if you work out this muscle it helps to make you run faster, jump higher, and is a good base for other exercises. Since I don't have dumb bells I'm currently using canned foods but Hey it still works.  So thats a two part exercise.  Total of 40 sets.  Plus my 20 push-ups and 15 sit-ups. With the occasional walk or rollerblade two-four times a week.  I eventually want to go running but I need running shoes first.  

Too bad these damn anti-anxiety pills are making me fat!! It's sick. I've always struggled to maintain a healthy figure.  Vanity or not it makes me feel better when I'm exercised. On top of the weight gain it's made me artistically numb.  I made one art project and that was because I was drugged up on vicodin after getting my teeth removed.  I found an old notebook from last summer with poems and it made me depressed.  I literally can't write how I used to.  I know being sober is a son of bitch for some writers but hell. 

Finally ANOTHER job offer and Beaumont. I'm going to really give it my all.  If I don't get it then on to Subway and any where else.  I know they still have me on file if any other jobs come up but this one is environmental and frankly cleaning is one thing I excel at. We'll see what happens. All I know is I'm literally going insane with not working.  My dad mentioned some thing about $200 and I realized I haven't made that much money since 2007.  Yeah nearly two years of nickle and diming.  Which I've some how managed to stay a smoker occasional drinker and a pot head.  Among other misc. drug user.  How ever since my wisdoms getting out I've quit every thing including coffee.  One cigarette and one beer but that's it.  I did cheat a few times by getting high in my dreams but hey what can ya do?  lol.  
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Jul. 1st, 2009 @ 08:08 pm Grrr. I'll never get socialization.
 GO AWAY HEADACHE!!! 


ANd constant irritability. 


I know you do it on purpose. 


I can't get mad or I feel ashamed. 

I miss you.  Even though we've been nothing.  

anxiety.   ??


I'm numb. Dumb. Stubborn. Selfish. Fat. Ugly. Hypocritical piece of crap.  
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Jun. 28th, 2009 @ 03:55 pm I needs job.
Tags: , ,
 I wish my camera worked.  The day I got my wisdoms pulled, after being drugged up and reading A New Moon, I decided it was funny I looked like a vampire.  I mean I know vamps supposedly swallow blood but when I was spitting it out I looked pretty hideous. Or sexy. lol.  I don't know I thought it would have at least made a neat photo shoot.  I've used fake blood in the past but it was just more realistic looking.  

Now I feel like crap.  Pain killers.  Anti biotics.  And anti inflamatary pills to all help with the surgery aftermath.  

Plus my Lexapro for anxiety or what not.  I'm basically taking it easy this week.  

I applyed at another place for a job.  No call yet but I guess they are supposed to interview me.   

Mom and dad cooked me two meals that were edible.  

The stitches came out the first day. Not cool. How ever the ones that were all the way out healed up pretty fast.  The one that they cut out isn't too bad. It was just the stubborn tooth that was half out half in.  It ripped open the gum to the tooth next to it.  That's the only one giving me problems.  

The meds are making me sleep terrible.  I wake up sweating.  Having tripped out dreams that don't make sense.  

Other than all that I'm doing good! Finally made some more art.  

I want to make a resume so I can turn it in to job places.  

P.S. The new Transformers movie is off the heezy! :- ) 
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Jun. 8th, 2009 @ 06:51 pm Watching Daisy of Love <3
Current Mood: sweaty
Tags: ,
 I found some thing safe to type about. 

TWITTER! 

follow me? I LOLed at the msn news feed saying one tweet and you're done? it sounds like treat.  hahah.  

anyways my name thingy is Freak4Nocircus   

I'm following chelsea lately and eminem.    I think it's them anyways.  heh. 


My horoscope was so true.  
1. stay away from a deal or lover that seems too good to be true WTF DREAM GUY!?!?
2. new friends.  Beaumont job? Hopefully. 
3. females will complicate things.  WELL DUH that's our job! 
4. Good luck on Sunday.  I got SIX free dollars at CVS.  

Now I have baby pink lipstick and two mini spiral notebooks!! 




p.s.  I finally got my hair perfecto. then I dyed it for my interview today.  It looks hott.  Just reminds me of being 16. YUCK! 
I miss the blonde. Oh well.  Now I'm a red head.  -_-  By red I mean like motorcycle red. Not strawberry blonde.  Hmm. Plus it's trimmed up too.  

Oh. Well.  I'm supposed to be staying away from guys this week. Right? 

1st impressions last a life time.  
"you look like the guy that raped me in the ass." 
"I"m an airhead." 
"this guy hates my life." 
"it's because we're in love."  

hence the reason I should not drink ever. 
SOOOOOO

the song by Lady Gaga that says "can't read minds"  trips me out.  I always feel people read my mind. Every time I'm around more then two people who are not family I think the worst case thing.  Well I always am super pessimistic.  Any how I was thinking how this chik does heroin and she's two days pregnant.  With her boyfriend who is actually her brother who I want to date who looks like the guy from this show I watch. Who hasa daughter.  Then this kid starts saying  this shit out loud.  I was like : - O !  Only I don't ever talk.  That's why.  

My brain thinks demented and I assume people read my thoughts anyways.  Only it's like a universal thought process. 
Reading Twilight isn't helping but maybe it will help me when I'm dead.  Which I also feel is going to happen soon.  Only it's actually a lack of every thing in my comfort zone. 

I already did this for a short time. 

No one reads this anyways.  I just use it to stalk people I never told I cared to. Or some thing.  

Plus I fought with mom and dad.  

Too ashamed with my existance to even type in my new journal. 

I FAIL AT FAILING!! 

.:.amen?.:.
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May. 29th, 2009 @ 04:42 pm Hello inspiration
Current Mood: giddy
Tags:
 So  I've decided what to write about.  

Fiction wise.  

Well based on my life of course.  

:- ) 

I was going to set up a new journal and post it there but my dad suggested putting it on my PC first.  


So I might not be using this computer much more.  

So I might have to take a break from LJ too. 

(I've already quit fb and ms) 

248.506.1866. 

feel free to call any time.  
If I don't answer I'm asleep, at the dentist or hate your life. jk. :- P 
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May. 26th, 2009 @ 06:00 pm I want phone internet.
Current Mood: crushed
Tags:
 Whoa.  

My meds got doubled which depresses me but it's supposed to make me happy.  

I now have a new drug that is supposed to help me sleep so that's great! 


I'm getting married again? 

Plus having four more kids then my already 16 that were promised?

Some thing like that.  

One negative side effect about these pills is that they are turning me O.C.D. 

I know that sounds like hypochondria of the mind but i'm for real. 

Words getting stuck in my mind.  Annoying me.  The annoying could be from the quitting of smoking. 


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May. 26th, 2009 @ 03:00 am Can eminem be my baby daddy?
Current Mood: accomplished
Tags:
 The BBQ went well.  

Hung out with the neighbors.  I used to baby sit them and now they are in highschool!?

My cats got pissed that Brad stayed the night. Hmm.

Angie and Russell are back in town, yay!

Beth finally called.

Tomorrow I find out if I continue the meds.

Goodluck to me.
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May. 23rd, 2009 @ 06:18 pm Happy Memorial Day. Thank you Vets.
Current Mood: awake
Tags:
 I slept all day.  Trying out the inhaler.  Mixed with the nasal spray should knock any allergies right out of me.  

I got a letter from Beth today.  I love her.  

I also had a normal conversation with Brad last night.  As normal as texting can be of course.   It's good to see how much we both have grown over the years.  I don't want to think back on the "bad" days but Hey that's high school. ;- ) 

The B.B.Q. got moved to tomorrow.  

I just realized my cousin is 10.  That's how old I was when we got our first computer! That's insane! 

Well wish me luck with the sinuses.   

Have a good holiday.  
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May. 21st, 2009 @ 08:24 pm AHHHHH I HEART ELL JAY!!
Current Mood: artistic
 The new icon set brought tears to my eyes. 


Mad props to the artists. 

:-D  
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May. 21st, 2009 @ 08:12 pm Phoebe's "hot" voice when she's sick.
Current Mood: giggly
Tags:
 Kay and I  cooked a fine shrimp stir fry today.

It turned out delicious.  

I'd like a donut but they will hurt my teeth plus I think they might be for Memorial Weekend with the fam?

Staring at my pack of cigarettes thinking I will save them for the week end also.  I then realized this is the first year
My brother won't be here for our b.b.q.  It makes me sad.  

Oh well, I shouldn't be smoking anyways with this cold.  

Hopefully it clears up in time for me to inhale the $5.60 box of goodness.  

Speaking of wasting money. 

Adding on to my "Character"  (which I now decided will be my hair style if I ever get a job) 
Pedicure.  Fake nails painted white.
Manicure also in white. 
Eyebrows did.  
My new eye liner I got on sale.  Regular 7.40 for 2.30?  Some thing like that. 


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May. 20th, 2009 @ 03:36 pm (no subject)
 testing out stuff
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May. 20th, 2009 @ 03:22 pm I love inspiration.
Current Mood: cheerful
Tags:
 Last night for the first time in forever I felt "sexy".  

Light blue T-shirt. 
Red cheer leading shorts. Folded twice as always.  

Yoga. 

I figured out why they started making armless chairs.  For people that like sitting pretzel style all the time.  I enjoy it.  It makes me feel vulnerable but I'm a confident enough women that I don't believe it gives off the vibe that I'm easy.  

I want to start wearing high heels all the time.  

Finally confidence enough with my height.   

Also wearing next to no clothes made me fantasize about wearing funky outfits.  Like the neon pink, green and blue outfits all the hot women at the techno festival wear.  

Pink high heels with straps to the knees. 
Green plastic looking short shorts. 
Blue bikini top. 
Spiked out hair. Bleached. Two black stripes on either side. 
Pink bangs. 
Dramatic eye make up. 
A smile. 

I am going to create  this character as soon as I feel like turning my PC back on.  
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May. 9th, 2009 @ 07:46 pm Live Journal
Current Mood: paranoid
 I'm planning on making this journal "professional" like.  

I, how ever, am not patient.  Nor do I know a lick about professional websites.  

Yes I do use odd words to sound more mature.  


j.k. i'm not that professional.


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May. 5th, 2009 @ 04:47 pm work codes.
Current Mood: bouncy
Tags: 
<br clear="all"> <img src="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/count_hugs.cgi?hug=faitharoni" height="40" width="240" title="HUGS"> <br clear="all"> *HUGS* TOTAL! <a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/hugs.cgi?&HUGS=yes&hug=faitharoni">give faitharoni more *HUGS*</a> <br><small><a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/gethugs.cgi">Get hugs of your own</a></small><br clear="all">
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Apr. 14th, 2009 @ 04:02 am BAD DRUGS ARE BAD!! -_-
Hello.  If you found me I'm assuming you are my friend.

If you don't know the relevence of my Live Journal Name. Um I guess Google it.  

My email is : ShaniLight247@gmail.com  

I read in an aura book that shani means purple or violet.
If you know other wise let me know.

Light represents aura. 


Like the indigo children of the 90's.  :- ) 
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